Lightfoot Loss Blamed On Rampant Murderphobia

Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/lightfoot-loss-blamed-on-rampant-murder-phobia
Published: Mar 2, 2023
Author: BabylonBee.com
Post Date: 2023-03-02 07:43:54 by Ada
Views: 832

CHICAGO, IL — Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot lost her bid for reelection this week in what Lightfoot and other critics are calling a blatant example of the rampant murderphobia that still exists among residents of the city.

"Murderphobia is still an unfortunate reality here in Chicago, and it is the reason I was not reelected as this city's mayor," said Lightfoot to reporters. "People were so busy being afraid of being shot in the face by gang members that they forgot about what an amazing mayor I was. Let me be clear: murderphobia is racist. Murderphobia is bigoted. Murderphobia is NOT ok. Full stop."

Lightfoot has pledged to spend the next few years fighting against murderphobia in all its forms, as well as taxes-phobia, regulations- phobia, and stabbed-in-the-neck-by-a-homeless-guy-phobia.

"My unfair and tragic election loss because of bigotry is a sad day for Chicago," Lightfoot continued as she dodged several stray bullets that whizzed over her head. "And all because of fear. So sad."

At publishing time, Chicago's new mayor had vowed to fight against Chicago's policephobia.

Post Comment   Private Reply

#1: ghostdogtxn    To: Ada (#0)

ghostdogtxn posted on 2023-03-02 08:11:48   Reply   Private Reply

#2: StraitGate    To: Ada (#0)

She's unwilling to admit that frightful-face-phobia and revolting-visage- phobia had anything to do with her loss?

StraitGate posted on 2023-03-02 09:45:57   Reply   Private Reply

#3: Dakmar    To: Ada (#0)

The people of Chicago know that if they ever need her again, all they have to do is say her name three times.

Dakmar posted on 2023-03-02 10:15:05   Reply   Private Reply

#4: Ada    To: StraitGate (#2)

They knew that when they elected her. She had her chance and blew it.

Ada posted on 2023-03-02 17:58:00   Reply   Private Reply