Remember when the “resistance” was going to save democracy? Those were the days: when knitting pink hats was considered a revolutionary act, and every weekend brought another march against the dreaded Orange Man.

The liberal establishment promised that if Trump ever returned to power, millions would flood the streets in righteous protest.

Well, it turns out that righteous anger is a lot less appealing when the temperature drops below 20°F. As Donald Trump prepared to take the oath of office for his historic second term, the mighty resistance could barely muster enough protesters to fill a Starbucks. Even the megaphones showed up in greater numbers than the actual protesters.