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Title: Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth
Source:
theonion.com
URL Source: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40525
Published: Sep 14, 2005
Author: theonion.com
Post Date: 2005-09-14 15:57:01 by Grumble Jones
Keywords: Halliburton, Contract, Fillings
Views: 59
Comments: 5
Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth September 14, 2005 | Issue 41•37 HOUSTON—On Tuesday, Halliburton received a $110 million no-bid government contract to pry the gold fillings from the mouths of deceased disaster victims in the New Orleans-Gulf Coast area. "We are proud to serve the government in this time of crisis by recovering valuable resources from the wreckage of this deadly storm," said David J. Lesar, Halliburton's president. "The gold we recover from the human rubble of Katrina can be used to make fighter-jet electronics, supercomputer chips, inflation-proof A-grade investments, and luxury yachting watches."
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#1. To: Grumble Jones (#0)
Well, thank God it's an Onion Article. In China it will be touted as the truth.
 | So many morons, so few bullets. |
#2. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#1)
Heh! Yeah,but there is a lot of irony in it.
Well, thank God it's an Onion Article.
#3. To: Grumble Jones (#0)
Don't forget making diesel fuel and beauty products.
"A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny." – Alexander Solzhenitsyn
#4. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#1)
I hate China for their freedoms.
In China it will be touted as the truth.
#5. To: robin (#3)
Only your hairdresser knows for sure. :-D
beauty products.
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