The following week, after I returned to Philadelphia, my friend Jameel taught me to shoot. He was familiar with guns and, like my father, wanted to make sure I knew how to protect myself. There’s been a surge in the number of black women learning to handle firearms since the 2016 election cycle began. I searched for black gun clubs in an effort to find common ground. I found women are filling classes and waiting lists, anxious to learn the ins and outs of self-protection. Gun dealers have reported spikes of black women purchasing guns and the National African-American Gun Association has gained 9,000 new members since Election Day, the bulk of which is made up of women just like me. Considering the organization was just founded in 2015, and was now 18,000 members strong, I had to at least consider the possibility of joining rank. Jameel agreed I should come into the fold.
We purchased a Groupon for a range in Northeast Philadelphia and I spent the drive over wiping my hands across my thighs, my body so tense I trembled and cramped. Jameel rubbed my arm, promising my predictions of killing someone after dropping the gun would never happen. He reminded me that he was there to teach me everything I needed to know. I couldn’t help thinking that wasn’t enough. Shooting takes confidence, a steady hand. Driving across Philadelphia toward that range was like a death march. What if I accidentally pulled the trigger? Caused a bullet to ricochet and hurt someone? What would happen if I ended up carrying a gun and became a threat in ways I’d yet to experience? There were too many questions and not enough answers. Tang_Na_Gun_Spot2-500x640.jpg
Still, I found myself clutching a pair of ear protectors to my chest while men, young and old, fired long guns around me. We’d arrived at the club, set at the rear of a dead-end block, in the middle of a weekday. The gravel lot was nearly empty, dotted with only a few pickup trucks and sedans. The club looked like a convenience store stripped of all its neon. There was nothing gaudy, or particularly dangerous, about its looks. When we entered, I wanted to run. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but the room was brimming with weapons of every kind. It seemed that from every surface, walls to floor, a gun was displayed.
Jameel, adept at building his own weapons and owner of several, launched into a conversation with the owner soon after I presented the printed discount voucher. Instead of talking, I stuffed my hands into my pockets, terrified to come near any of the Glocks at waist level. When I came back to the conversation, Jameel and the owner were discussing the weapon I should use. I wanted a revolver, something small, easy to load, and with as little kickback as possible. I was handed a sectioned bucket with a Glock, a box of bullets, and a pair of ear protectors before we entered the shooting gallery.
When we passed through the door, the room was near its capacity. A handful of men held rifles to their shoulders and aimed before firing. A sign on the wall cautioned rapid fire was not allowed. There was a pause required between each shot. With each boom of a bullet exploding I jumped. After I struggled to hear the safety briefing of the range instructor, Jameel guided me to our assigned shooting alley and spent the following half hour naming the parts of the gun, showing me the proper way to load the clip, and how to position my hands. He shot 15 bullets as an example and left 35 for me, now shaking, palms drenched in sweat. He told me, taking a seat, that the rest was up to me.
I pleaded with him to take turns firing with me, but he looked at me over the black frame of his half-rim glasses and refused. Jameel, dressed in black and bearded, looked the part of a shooter. He fit into the roomful of men who knew what they were doing. I’d watched his forearms flex as his pressed bullets into the clip; watched the ease with which he racked the gun; watched as he aimed and pulled the trigger without tensing his whole body and jerking to a finish. Tang_Na_Gun_Spot1-500x640.jpg
On my first try, I caught the skin of my thumb in the slide. Ripped and bleeding, I backed away, terrified to shoot again. Jameel, never one to let me give up, helped me staunch the blood and gave me a moment before nodding toward the gun. There was no easy out. I knew what was expected. Move forward. Second bullet, the casing bounced back onto my arm, leaving a half moon etched into my skin. I tucked the shell into my pocket, my souvenir of conquering a fear.
Between the alternate booms of long guns, I fired each bullet into a silhouette down range, pausing only to allow Jameel to reload the clip. At the end, five headshots stood out among the misses and the shots pulling left. I was shaking, sweating, and a bit high.
The following day at work, my co-workershe federal agency where I’ve been employed for nearly nine years – told me my body would remember its position, and each time I went shooting the easier it would be. Muscle memory. I couldn’t be quite sure this was a good thing.
***
I keep turning over the words of Ty Shaw, the black woman who launched an Atlanta-area group called Armed Empress: “Violence is deeply connected to the black experience.” I keep thinking this connection is like sinew, tendon, or bone. It is a part of us in ways we never asked for, requires exercise and adjustments that are oftentimes painful.
Poster Comment:
If black women start telling white Democrats that they want to keep their guns, the Donkeys will have a heck of a time in 2020. Trump is already at 38% support amongst black men.
#1: BTP Holdings To: Horse (#0)
When I lived in Chicago I knew a cop and he told me when they would get a call at the projects they would go in there. They would walk into the bedroom and the bed was made up nice and neat. They would flip up the mattress and there was the pistol. Of course in public housing guns were not allowed. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-15 16:30:25 Reply Private Reply
#2: Lod To: BTP Holdings (#1)
That's recently been reversed, rightly so, as a 2A violation.
At least the decent people there are now able to defend themselves from the assclowns.
Lod posted on 2019-12-15 16:36:48 Reply Private Reply
#3: BTP Holdings To: Lod (#2)
Someone needs to tell them out here where I live now since public housing still has the red circle/slash no guns signs posted around. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-15 16:44:22 Reply Private Reply
#4: Lod To: BTP Holdings (#3)
affordablehousingonline.c...-gun-bans-public-housing/
Maybe HUD didn't tell all the authorities outside East St. Louis.
Lod posted on 2019-12-15 19:04:51 Reply Private Reply
#5: Esso To: BTP Holdings, Lod, 4um (#3)
The way I see the 2nd amendment is absolute, the way it was written.
If I want a hydrogen bomb, I should be able to buy one. I know that's extreme, but I think that's what the spirit was.
The 2nd was to keep control over the gov't. You gonna be able to do that with your little AR-15?
Esso posted on 2019-12-15 19:41:55 Reply Private Reply
#6: Esso To: All (#5)
F*ck, that's kooky as hell. On the other hand, you all would be safer having me with a nuke, rather than a bunch of sumbitches that think there're better then us.
Jus' sayin'.
Esso posted on 2019-12-15 19:53:15 Reply Private Reply
#7: Lod To: Esso (#6)
Amen to that. Bring it down to Austin, I have just the place for you here.
But, I know that you and the Dakster will never your beloved IN.
Lod posted on 2019-12-15 20:28:31 Reply Private Reply
#8: Esso To: Lod, Dakmar, 4um (#7)
Shoot, I guess neither me or Dakki, have the juice to buy nukes, if allowed.
Hell, Loddy I'm to old, broken up, and have way too much baggage to move.
Make a garage sale out of it. I'm used up.
(Edit) Not so much beloved, but I'll die within 10 klicks of where I was born. Most folks do.
Esso posted on 2019-12-15 21:02:17 Reply Private Reply
#9: BTP Holdings To: Esso (#8)
Not me. I was born in Chicago and am now living in SW Missouri. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-15 21:08:17 Reply Private Reply
#10: BTP Holdings To: Lod (#4)
I read that story Lod and the Judge is 100% correct. Just because it is public housing that does not mean your 2nd Amendment rights can be violated.
She had training and an Illinois F.O.I.D. card which is the law in Illinois. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-15 21:54:42 Reply Private Reply
#11: Lod To: Esso (#8)
Hang in here with us, we need you.
Lod posted on 2019-12-15 23:22:59 Reply Private Reply
#12: Lod To: BTP Holdings (#10)
Lod posted on 2019-12-15 23:29:08 Reply Private Reply
#13: Esso To: Lod (#11)
"Everybody dies, die standing up!"
Jed Eckert
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 01:36:27 Reply Private Reply
#14: Esso To: Lod (#11)
Like Matt said, "We're all used up."
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 01:45:03 Reply Private Reply
#15: Esso To: BTP Holdings (#9)
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 03:23:46 Reply Private Reply
#16: BTP Holdings To: Lod (#12)
I talked to a guy out here at local Wal Mart and he told me all CHA public housing in Chicago has been torn down, Cabrini-Greene on near north side and Robert Taylor homes near Comiskey Park on south side.
From what my sister told me they moved them all out to Section 8 housing in the west suburbs. She said she knew a woman that was a cop out there and things are not the way they used to be.
Where drug consumers go, the drug dealers follow.
BTW, when I worked for State of Illinois, I knew a guy on Bridge Crew. He told me they were replacing a hand rail on bridge over Dan Ryan Xwy (south side near Robert Taylor homes) and the bullets started pinging off the concrete. He said they dropped the tools, jumped into the trucks and got out of there. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-16 05:59:16 Reply Private Reply
#17: Esso To: BTP Holdings (#16)
Fags, I've got so many bullet holes in my house, the cops make to out to be one of the bad boys. I'm not, FWIW.
But I'm willing to learn.
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 06:15:11 Reply Private Reply
#18: Esso To: BTP Holdings (#16)
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 06:17:30 Reply Private Reply
#19: BTP Holdings To: Esso (#18)
Palladium is used in catalytic converters. And do you have a mountain of it? ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-16 06:49:25 Reply Private Reply
#20: Esso To: BTP Holdings (#19)
I know what palladium is. I Have no idea what it even looks like.
Of course I might have some in my cars cats, other than that I don't understand the moves respective to AG/AU.
You tell me. Car sales don't indicate anything. Hell, they're selling rings of silicone now. Basically plumbers putty.
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 07:13:00 Reply Private Reply
#21: BTP Holdings To: Esso (#20)
The three are not related. Au has few industrial uses but it does get used a bit. Ag gets used up. Pd is used in catalytic converters. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-16 07:18:33 Reply Private Reply
#22: Esso To: BTP Holdings (#21)
Platinum is a good catalyst. Why's is its price so far below gold now?
Shit, my buddy Elon's never around when you need him. Hell, he never tells anybody what his real plan is anyway.
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 07:33:41 Reply Private Reply
#23: Lod To: Esso (#22)
Lod posted on 2019-12-16 07:50:40 Reply Private Reply
#24: Esso To: Lod (#23)
"My buddy" might be a little on the sarcastic side, Loddy.
As far as your FLA (flooded lead acid) battery goes, thank the government. Lead kills kiddies when they eat your old truck batts. EPA regs, and all that.
That's pretty much tongue-in-cheek seeing as how FLA batteries are the #1 most recycled thing out there. No shit.
Lead acid batts have a kooky 99+% recycle rate, last I heard. Probably, because if you take them to the right joint, they pay you for them.
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 08:14:46 Reply Private Reply
#25: Esso To: Lod (#23)
No, no, no. FLA batts are kinda like lettuce. Buy local from a battery shop. JMHO, my man.
Esso posted on 2019-12-16 08:19:24 Reply Private Reply
#26: BTP Holdings To: Esso (#24)
I took some metals for recycling once a long while back. I had a string of 4 lead pigs. They threw it aside since it was not worth much at all back in the late 80s. Even though plumbers in Chicago area had to use lead to caulk joints of cast iron pipes in drainage of buildings.
Now they use plastic pipes in many places since code in the boonies is almost nonexistent. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2019-12-16 17:54:10 Reply Private Reply