The "Kiss Your Azz Goodbye" Thread

Source: Vanity
Published: Mar 15, 2020
Author: Liberator
Post Date: 2020-03-15 11:53:12 by Liberator
Views: 2979

It has come to my attention that there's been some kind of virus pandemic and panic afoot, and we're apparently all gonna die. (I haven't heard much from the MSM or anywhere else about it. Has it been some kind of secret? What have I missed??)

Anyway....

My recent observation:

There they were -- the fat & stupid; old & parsnippity; skinny & spastic; basically, anyone with a pulse had been milling around a supermarket and drug store like chickens without heads, pilling carts to the rafters, cleaning the shelves of items from toilet paper-to-Clorox-to-food stuffs and produce.

In my email box are several new warnings, advice, and "the latest" from companies I've done business with -- insurance companies, banks, utilities, Mavis Tires -- SAY WHAT??!? They are ALL dispensing government updates on this virus thingy. It's a good thing too, or else I'd have been TOTALLY in the dark about it.

So...Nice knowing ya. Say yer prayers, varmint. So long Methuselah...

Post Comment   Private Reply

#1: hondo68    To: Liberator, No More of My Dough (#0)

Farewell.

hondo68 posted on 2020-03-15 12:49:07   Reply   Private Reply


#2: Liberator    To: hondo68, 4 (#1)

I personally prefer, 'Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh'.

Anyway, so long, Screwy...See you in St. Louie.

In a scene that's up for interpretation, who can blame Charlton Heston for totally giving up? (No TP at Walgreens = Kissing Own Azz Goodbye)

Rest easy, Chuck.

Liberator posted on 2020-03-15 14:13:36   Reply   Private Reply


#3: Liberator    To: All (#2)

Good thing the Media isn't causing any further panic.

Oh, wait....

Now it's not a matter of if, but just when. Your last Russian Roulette wipe might be your last.

:-(

Liberator posted on 2020-03-15 14:39:42   Reply   Private Reply


#4: Esso    To: Liberator, 4um (#3)

Now it's not a matter of if, but just when. Your last Russian Roulette wipe might be your last.

I'm starting to think that my campaign to kiss every Chinese gal that I could get my lips on may have been a wee bit misguided.

Hell, I heard that they were "going out of style." Yum yum I wanted to get me some before it was too late. :(

I'm good on the TP, probably worth more than my friggin' gold right now.

Esso posted on 2020-03-15 14:54:39   Reply   Private Reply


#5: BTP Holdings    To: Liberator (#2)

That was the best part of the Apes movie when Heston came upon the smashed Statue of Liberty. ;)

BTP Holdings posted on 2020-03-15 15:13:05   Reply   Private Reply


#6: BTP Holdings    To: Liberator (#3)

Now it's not a matter of if, but just when. Your last Russian Roulette wipe might be your last.

Scott tissue used to be Made in America. Now it is Made in Mexico.

Not sure if they use it there since except for the larger cities, they only have pit privies. In that instance they put it in the trash and then take it out and burn it since the TP fills the privy faster. The Mexicans put it in the trash here too, even though it is not a pit privy. ;)

BTP Holdings posted on 2020-03-15 15:18:01   Reply   Private Reply


#7: Lod    To: NeoconsNailed, Liberator, Anthem, Esso, 4um (#4)

the rules have changed

He who dies with the most TP, WINS!

Lod posted on 2020-03-15 15:25:56   Reply   Private Reply


#8: BTP Holdings    To: Esso (#4)

I'm starting to think that my campaign to kiss every Chinese gal that I could get my lips on may have been a wee bit misguided.

You know what the Mama-sans would say in Vietnam? "I love you long time, Joe." LOL

BTP Holdings posted on 2020-03-15 15:29:32   Reply   Private Reply


#9: Luke The Spook    To: BTP Holdings (#8)

You know what the Mama-sans would say in Vietnam? "I love you long time, Joe." LOL

Sin Loi, My Boy

Luke The Spook posted on 2020-03-15 15:45:34   Reply   Private Reply


#10: Ada    To: Liberator (#3)

Why are people buying so much toilet paper?

Because when someone sneezes, 100 people shit

Ada posted on 2020-03-15 19:42:31   Reply   Private Reply


#11: Anthem    To: Ada, first Chinese CV case identified (#10)

The first Chinaman to come down with the coronavirus has been identified. His name is Ah Chu.

Anthem posted on 2020-03-15 21:06:54   Reply   Private Reply


#12: NeoconsNailed    To: Liberator (#2)

How is it open to interpretation.

NeoconsNailed posted on 2020-03-15 21:38:44   Reply   Private Reply


#13: Liberator    To: Esso (#4)

I'm starting to think that my campaign to kiss every Chinese gal that I could get my lips on may have been a wee bit misguided.

HA!

Maybe not; You're still here! (and there's no do-overs) ;-)

Liberator posted on 2020-03-19 14:08:06   Reply   Private Reply


#14: Liberator    To: BTP Holdings (#5)

That was the best part of the Apes movie when Heston came upon the smashed Statue of Liberty. ;)

Wasn't it? One of the all-time best plot twists.

Liberator posted on 2020-03-19 14:08:47   Reply   Private Reply


#15: Liberator    To: BTP Holdings, Neocons Nailed, ALL (#6)

Scott tissue used to be Made in America. Now it is Made in Mexico.

Like Hersheys :-/

Btw...

That "contaminated" TP news videocap was a goof. But it amplified our immediate instinct to believe everything seen as presented by official-looking "NEWS REPORTS."

If you haven't seen 'Wag The Dog' starring DiNiro and Hoffman, THAT is the general premise. (well worth seeing a first or second)

Liberator posted on 2020-03-19 14:13:14   Reply   Private Reply


#16: Liberator    To: Lod, NeoconsNailed, Esso, 4um (#7)

He who dies with the most TP, WINS!

Haa!!

(It's like Monopoly...instead of red Hotels, white mini-TP rolls festoon St. James Place, Tennessee and New York ;-)

Liberator posted on 2020-03-19 14:16:44   Reply   Private Reply


#17: Liberator    To: Ada (#10)

(Why are people buying so much toilet paper?)

Because when someone sneezes, 100 people shit

Butta-boom!

Liberator posted on 2020-03-19 14:17:29   Reply   Private Reply


#18: Liberator    To: NeoconsNailed (#12)

How is it open to interpretation.

It was a *joke*

Liberator posted on 2020-03-19 14:18:12   Reply   Private Reply