I’m just going to be honest with you: I was planning on writing a satire article when the medical examiner’s report came out with the headline “George Floyd Died of Coronavirus…!” I actually had a draft of the article prepared with jokes and everything.
Here it is in my drafts folder, from May 30:
But I now don’t get to write that satire article, because it happened in real life.
Because of course it did. Everything that I write as satire eventually happens in real life.
Forbes:
A postmortem nasal swab found that Floyd had COVID-19 when he died, according to the autopsy report, which was released publicly with permission from Floyd’s family.
The medical examiner said Floyd tested positive for the disease on April 3 and was likely asymptomatic when he died.
…
The toxicology report said Floyd had fentanyl and methamphetamine in his system when he died, as well as cannabis compounds and morphine; a press release summarizing the report Monday listed arteriosclerotic and hypertensive heart disease, “fentanyl intoxication” and “recent methamphetamine use” as “other significant conditions” but not “cause of death.”
The medical examiner found Floyd died of cardiopulmonary arrest while being restrained, ruling his death a homicide—a different finding than a separate autopsy commissioned by Floyd’s family, which found the cause of death to be asphyxia.
Wow.
There is a lot to unpack here.
But let’s just start with the drugs, because that’s the easiest part.
Firstly: man, dat nigga doin wypipo drugs, huh?
Secondly: whereas cannabis has a relatively long half-life and can stay in your system for weeks after you’ve taken it, opioids (fentanyl and morphine) do not, and neither do amphetamines (methamphetamine).
#1: Lod To: Ada (#0)
Maybe they can have three different cause of death themes for the three funerals.
Lod posted on 2020-06-04 10:06:50 Reply Private Reply