The Weirdest News Story You'll See Today

Source: EweToob
Published: May 3, 2021
Author: John Talks
Post Date: 2021-05-03 04:59:02 by Esso
Views: 203

Poster Comment:

Jesus, Vlad Putin is gonna die of a hernia from laughing at this former country.

Or is it a himnia or a xeinia? I think I'm going to die from dehydration from crying.

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#1: Esso    To: All (#0)

I was bitten by a stripper in Poland. I don't remember if it was before or after the wall came down, though. Might've even been after the USSR fell, but doubtful. I'm sure my handler Pam was a bit nonplussed.

Don't ever call her Pamela, that really set her off the deep end for some reason.

Esso posted on 2021-05-03 05:06:40   Reply   Private Reply

#2: Esso    To: All (#1)

Goddamn, I'm, I'm proud to see our military standing tall in the eyes of the World.

My chest is so swollen up with pride, I think I'm going to pop. Either that, or I'm having a heart attack.

(Edit) I don't know how things work in Bidet's new LGBTQIA+ .mil, but in my day, retaliatory action usually wasn't taken unless the 'biting victim' was a bird Colonel or above.

(Edit2) What's some Army puke Major doing in a commie country anyway? Are the Polloks on our side now? Damn, I've missed so much.

Esso posted on 2021-05-03 05:12:33   Reply   Private Reply

#3: Esso    To: Christine, 4um (#2)

I can't help myself...

(Edit) I want to be on the record that I'm appalled, utterly appalled by the lack of face diapers in that video.

That's just Goddamned unUhmerrkan.

Esso posted on 2021-05-03 05:45:28   Reply   Private Reply

#4: Esso    To: All (#3)

I'm sorry. Clean your ears out a little...

Esso posted on 2021-05-03 06:17:56   Reply   Private Reply