ELLIE-Q

Source: Old Gal
Published: Apr 2, 2022
Author: Cap'n Brandon
Post Date: 2022-04-02 17:54:17 by Esso
Views: 1937

I just had an old gal call me to talk. She lives in gov't subsidized housing for oldsters. She's in her mid 70s. She told me they are giving these Elli-Q gadgets to all the residents.

I'd never heard of these before. She told me she came back to her apartment after Bingo the other day and caught this thing looking around her living room at pictures, etc.

She asked it, "What are you looking for, Elli?" and the thing wouldn't answer her. She unplugged the thing, then the company started calling the administration as to why the thing was inactive.

Obviously, the thing is a surveillance device along the lines of an Amazon Alexa or Echo. I thought the libtards were only interested in little boys and girls. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. She made them take it back. I guess she's on the "troublesome" list now. Better keep my funeral jeans ready.

She also told me HUD is cutting down all decorative the trees around the buildings. What could that be about?

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#1: Dakmar    To: Esso (#0)

"ELLI-Q spyware" search in Yandex brings up a bunch of shit with cyrilic letters - makes me feel stupid

"ELLI-Q spyware" search in DuckDuckGo brings up a bunch of gay porn shit. Makes me feel ashamed to trust western governments and institutions.

Dakmar posted on 2022-04-02 18:04:41   Reply   Private Reply


#2: Esso    To: Dakmar (#1)

When McMurphy was here the other night salting-up the shoulder of my T- shirt, she told me that they're mandating #4 and #5 clot-shots. I don't know what to tell her. I'm gonna be getting a lot of mileage on my funeral jeans this Spring.

I should look at my money market fund and see if I've got enough to invest in Hospital City. Their profits should go through the roof after they manage to kill off all the nurses. I'm sure the payroll is a terrible burden on them.

(Edit) Lara Logan popped up today. Figures, she's married. Kinda young for me at 51, but closer than 30. Lara's Wiki page was interesting. Nobody likes her but me.

Esso posted on 2022-04-02 18:19:43   Reply   Private Reply


#3: Dakmar    To: Esso (#2)

she told me that they're mandating #4 and #5 clot-shots. I don't know what to tell her.

No where to go after 5. Will compromised insurance pay for 6?

Shit, that it! 6 shots!

Wasn't this a Steve Martin/Dan Akyroid skit from SNL, circa 1978? Next time try five (audience laughter)!!!!!

Dakmar posted on 2022-04-02 18:33:29   Reply   Private Reply


#4: Esso    To: Dakmar, 4um (#3)

Great. Now my ZH ads are all for that stupid Elli-Q thing. I used to like the Lilicloth ads with the old gals in the T-shirts with the cute sayings on them.

I was only reading the slogans. I swear. I suppose I'll have to buy something now to get them back.

Esso posted on 2022-04-02 19:05:18   Reply   Private Reply


#5: Dakmar    To: Esso (#4)

It's all ELLI-Q these days.

Dakmar posted on 2022-04-02 19:07:42   Reply   Private Reply


#6: Dakmar    To: Esso (#4)

I used to like the Lilicloth ads with the old gals in the T-shirts with the cute sayings on them.

I always wanted a 1970 Torino GT with a 429CJ/370HP/3.25 9" with the rear seats removed and replaced by a beer cooler. Wish in one hand, shit in the other...

Dakmar posted on 2022-04-02 19:11:22   Reply   Private Reply


#7: Esso    To: Dakmar, 4um (#5)

It's all ELLI-Q these days.

Yeah, I should get one and put it in my living room so it can watch me dress. It would probably commit suicide by setting itself on fire and burn my house down.

That would certainly simplify my estate planning.

Esso posted on 2022-04-02 19:14:29   Reply   Private Reply


#8: Dakmar    To: Esso (#7)

Yeah, I should get one and put it in my living room so it can watch me dress. It would probably commit suicide by setting itself on fire and burn my house down.

Make a video, post it on Tic-Toc. If you're serious about competing, I'll kick in some William S Burroughs crap. What a damned shame he was a white guy, otherwise it would be a shoe-in.

Dakmar posted on 2022-04-02 19:20:59   Reply   Private Reply


#9: Dakmar    To: Esso (#7)

Don't mess with crazy old fuckers! :)

Dakmar posted on 2022-04-02 20:48:24   Reply   Private Reply


#10: Lod    To: Dakmar, Esso (#9)

Great bedtime thread, thanks.

Lod posted on 2022-04-02 21:06:39   Reply   Private Reply


#11: Lod    To: All (#10)

Lod posted on 2022-04-02 21:14:02   Reply   Private Reply


#12: Dakmar    To: Lod (#10)

Can I borrow your tennis raquet, Billy?

Dakmar posted on 2022-04-02 21:31:06   Reply   Private Reply