LOS ANGELES, CA — As Hurricane Hilary prepares to make landfall in Southern California, the World Meteorological Organization has announced that all deaths resulting from the storm will be ruled as suicides.
"We are seeing Hilary continue to weaken as it approaches the West Coast, so we have high hopes that it will not cause any, um... suicides," said meteorologist Fritz McBeely to reporters. "But we must be aware, this storm is highly unpredictable and could potentially suicide anyone foolish enough to stand in its way."
Local authorities in Los Angeles have warned their people to board up windows, stack sandbags, and refuse to testify against the hurricane in a court of law in order to avoid being suicided. "The threat is real," warned McBeely.
At publishing time, several weather sources had confirmed that they are struggling to track the storm as their weather prediction servers were mysteriously drenched in bleach and smashed with a hammer overnight.
#1: Ada To: All (#0)
Ada posted on 2023-08-19 16:10:05 Reply Private Reply
#2: Dakmar To: Ada (#1)
lost paradise...
Dakmar posted on 2023-08-19 16:15:10 Reply Private Reply
#3: Dakmar To: Ada (#0)
Dakmar posted on 2023-08-19 16:16:26 Reply Private Reply
#4: BTP Holdings To: Dakmar (#2)
We used to make a delivery to a produce house in Detroit. It was always a midnight appointment.
One week I was sitting on the side street waiting to get into the dock. This black girl came up to the truck wanting to talk.
All of a sudden, four guys came running off that dock. They beat the crap out of the black girl and a black guy that was sneaking up on the blind side of the truck.
When they finished the beating, they threw them both out in the middle of the busy street.
I hollered at them, "ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE THEM THERE?"
They said, "Darn right we are. You KNOW what they were going to do to you."
And when word of the got around, nobody else went over there screwing around with the truckers. ;)
You know how the blacks think, truckers got money. ;)
BTP Holdings posted on 2023-08-20 10:04:59 Reply Private Reply