· Jan 22, 2024 · BabylonBee.com Click here to view this article with reduced ads. Article Image U.S. — In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court has ruled that it's now illegal for the Texas National Guard to guard Texas or the nation.

"Using the National Guard to guard the nation is an egregious misuse of the National Guard," wrote Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, who sided with the majority. "When the federal government has decreed that the nation not be guarded so that millions of illegal immigrants will swarm the border and settle in cities across the nation to swing the 2024 presidential election for Biden, states have no right to disobey that decree by guarding their states."

As a result of the ruling, Texas is being ordered to open its border completely and let millions of people flood the state and the rest of the country until everything Americans hold dear is left a smoldering ruin. "It's the compassionate thing to do," said Jackson.

At publishing time, the government had asked the National Guard to return to its normal task of fighting endless foreign wars.