A police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible drunk drivers. [Sounds like Spudz]
At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
"Son-of-a-bitch!!!" Said the police officer
Poster Comment:
That was the funniest thing I've seen all day.
#1: Dakmar To: Esso (#0)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 17:58:01 Reply Private Reply
#2: Dakmar To: Esso (#0)
See, we just need slick white suites!
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 18:13:54 Reply Private Reply
#3: Esso To: Dakmar (#2)
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 19:21:21 Reply Private Reply
#4: Dakmar To: Esso (#3)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 20:03:39 Reply Private Reply
#5: Esso To: Dakmar (#4)
(Edit) A lot of that was CGI/AI, but accurate, nonetheless.
I remember putting a guy's hand on his guts and screaming for a medic that wasn't there like the video CGI. The Doggie saying goodbye on the casket about kills me.
Ronald Reagan never looked at his watch during the Dignified Transfer.
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 20:08:45 Reply Private Reply
#6: titorite To: Esso (#0)
titorite posted on 2024-06-13 20:15:07 Reply Private Reply
#7: Esso To: titorite, 4um (#6)
I'm proud of you. That's where our paths diverge. I've lost almost all of my friends over the clot-shots. The only trusted folks I have are my Godson, Sling Blade and his daughter and my neighbors across the street.
I've got nothing left to live for except Dr. Kimmy who will soon be dead thanks to Prez Pedo's shot mandates. I hope she doesn't die here.
Stay strong, brutha.
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 20:34:47 Reply Private Reply
#8: Dakmar To: titorite (#6)
10 minutes for me! Want to rape Hillary?
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 20:44:59 Reply Private Reply
#9: Esso To: Dakmar (#8)
Zero minutes for me. I racked up a bunch of points on ZH today.
Negative, Juliet Bravo, NEGATIVE! PULL OUT! EJECT, EJECT, EJECT!
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 20:50:17 Reply Private Reply
#10: Dakmar To: Esso (#5)
>Patton’s “Blood and Guts” Speech">
But Patton was never a fucking sunbeam like me, right?
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 20:51:38 Reply Private Reply
#11: Esso To: Dakmar (#10)
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 20:56:00 Reply Private Reply
#12: Dakmar To: Esso (#9)
Fuck You! I'm sure Jesus is screeching at me through finger painting on Graham Crackers! I think Wendy's has the correct game pieces. Wendy doesn't want me for a sunbeam....
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 20:56:35 Reply Private Reply
#13: Dakmar To: Esso (#11)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 21:00:42 Reply Private Reply
#14: Esso To: Dakmar (#13)
How much crack can you march out? The Covi shots have really fucked up my dealer network.
Can semis navigate in your hood?
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 21:16:05 Reply Private Reply
#15: Dakmar To: Esso (#14)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 21:21:34 Reply Private Reply
#16: Dakmar To: Esso (#14)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 21:25:16 Reply Private Reply
#17: Dakmar To: Esso (#14)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 21:31:17 Reply Private Reply
#18: Dakmar To: Esso (#16)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 22:08:24 Reply Private Reply
#19: Esso To: Dakmar (#18)
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 22:13:00 Reply Private Reply
#20: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 22:21:28 Reply Private Reply
#21: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)
Sort of same deal, I had dream about girl that delivered newspapers, she was so adorable but obviously thought I was psychotic, lol.
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-13 22:24:30 Reply Private Reply
#22: Esso To: Dakmar (#21)
Jan was a gal on one of our assignments. I was doing some freelance work.
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 22:29:03 Reply Private Reply
#23: Esso To: Dakmar (#21)
She probably won't live long enough to make 63 which will be 70 by then.
Esso posted on 2024-06-13 22:35:09 Reply Private Reply
#24: titorite To: Dakmar (#8)
90 days now, and no, dear god no. Esso wait for me, im bailing too.
titorite posted on 2024-06-21 17:17:21 Reply Private Reply
#25: Dakmar To: titorite, Esso (#24)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-21 19:38:09 Reply Private Reply
#26: Esso To: Dakmar (#25)
Are you locked in your bathroom again?
Esso posted on 2024-06-21 20:31:26 Reply Private Reply
#27: Dakmar To: Esso (#26)
Not since 2019! I tied the keys to my cat!
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-21 20:48:32 Reply Private Reply