Freedom4um - Article

Gleeful Weatherman Excitedly Announces Dangerous Storm Likely To Kill Everyone

Source:	Babylon Bee
Published:	2026-01-24
Author:	Babylon Bee
Post Date:	2026-01-24 12:25:26 by Esso
Views:	148

Image for article: Gleeful Weatherman Excitedly Announces Dangerous Storm Likely To Kill Everyone

TOLEDO, OH — Local weatherman Glen Dickson gleefully informed CBS 11 viewers that a giant storm was heading their way and that it was likely to kill everyone in its path.

Viewers reported that Dickson appeared to barely keep hold of his composure as he excitedly informed everyone of their imminent deaths.

"I don't want to sound too jazzed about this, but MAN OH MAN," Dickson all but shouted on-air. "This is what I went to weather school for, moments just like this. I mean, it's probably gonna kill a lot of people, but will you look at the size of this thing! Massive blue mass moving right over the city can only mean one thing, and that's the storm of the century! It's gonna be great!"

Dickson reported that the storm was closing in quickly on the area, but urged residents not to panic over the thought that they would soon be dead.

"Don't despair! This system will only kill several hundred people, tops, and it's going to be so cool to watch it roll through," he continued. "It's probably the storm of our lifetime, and I can't believe it's happening on my watch! What fun!"

Dickson predicted the storm system to move in rapidly and cause immense chaos on the roads. Viewers were slightly disturbed by the gleam in his eyes as he reported the news, with some saying they could have sworn they saw him bouncing up and down with excitement.

At publishing time, the storm had been downgraded to "non-lethal," to Dickson's great disappointment.

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#1: Esso To: All (#0)

Winter Storm Severity Index. No more important added content to add from what is in the post text.

Esso posted on 2026-01-24 12:29:28 Reply Private Reply

#2: Esso To: All (#1)

Esso posted on 2026-01-24 13:17:35 Reply Private Reply

#3: Esso To: All (#2)

Esso posted on 2026-01-24 13:30:03 Reply Private Reply

#4: Esso To: Dakmar, Horse (#3)

It's cold as hell here, I about froze to death walking the 200' to and back from my mailbox.

The NWS/NOAA forecast is getting worse by the hour. Minimum snow is going up by an inch/hour.

Dakkie looks like his is even worse in Kokomo.

Esso posted on 2026-01-24 15:05:22 Reply Private Reply

#5: Horse To: Esso (#4)

From my apartment window I saw exactly one car on the freeway bypass which is usually packed with traffic. It is the quickest way to go south and north in this town of 90,000.

As I said before, they even closed the churches. More snow tonight. Around the Great Lakes, people would not be bothered by this little bit of snow on the roads. Currently,

it is 20 degrees F.

It will be Tuesday before the roads are OK to drive. The city owns Zero Snow Plows.

Horse posted on 2026-01-24 16:09:53 Reply Private Reply

#6: Esso To: Horse (#5)

I hope you don't lose power. It could be out for awhile if you're getting the ice like they said.

My gas fireplace doesn't need electricity to run.

I told Kim to go home after work. I don't want her pacing like a caged animal worrying about getting to her office Monday like last time.

Esso posted on 2026-01-24 18:32:56 Reply Private Reply

#7: Horse To: Esso (#6)

My apartment building uses oil to generate electricity. We have electric heat not gas. Tennessee has the TVA so we have

good electricity sources, nuclear and hydroelectric. Our electricity comes from the east end of the state and our threat

to infrastructure is the New Madrid fault which is concentrated in the western edge.

Can't you go to Kimmy's place for the weekend?

Horse posted on 2026-01-24 22:25:40 Reply Private Reply

#8: Horse To: Esso (#6)

Latest forecast is up to one inch of snow accumulation. And for that they shut down the entire state.

Might be Tuesday before things get back to normal.

Horse posted on 2026-01-25 01:58:36 Reply Private Reply

#9: Horse To: Esso (#6)

Horse posted on 2026-01-25 02:30:32 Reply Private Reply

#10: Esso To: Horse (#7)

I thought about going to Kim's apartment/B&B, it's nice, but it's too sterile, boring, like a motel room.

It looks like we got about 6" of snow so far and they're calling for an additional 6-9". It's supposed to snow all day.

The snow's well above the bottom of the driveway gates, the snow blower's gonna have to come out before they can be opened.

Esso posted on 2026-01-25 07:59:38 Reply Private Reply

#11: Horse To: Esso (#10)

Jackson, TN received nearly 4 inches of snowfall through the early morning.

And for that they shut down the whole state.

Horse posted on 2026-01-25 08:39:40 Reply Private Reply

#12: Esso To: Horse (#11)

This video shows the evolution of the last 24 hours of power outages with the ongoing ice storm. As of 7:00 AM EST Jan 25, there are close to 600K customers without power and climbing.

https://x.com/PowerOutage_us/status/2015409077409456128

Esso posted on 2026-01-25 10:35:47 Reply Private Reply

#13: Esso To: All (#12)

Esso posted on 2026-01-25 11:38:53 Reply Private Reply

#14: Esso To: Horse (#11)

It's pretty bad up here. I opened my garage door to see what's going on out back.

I've got about a two foot drift formed across my driveway. I'm glad I told Kim not to come.

It might take a while to get dug out of this mess. Hopefully Chris can give me a hand with moving snow.

It's probably been ten years since it's gotten this bad around here.

All I can do is wait until it stops tonight and whittle away at it a little at a time tomorrow.

Esso posted on 2026-01-25 12:53:24 Reply Private Reply

#15: Esso To: All (#14)

BREAKING - Leftists in Minneapolis are outraged after an anti-ICE agitator lost parts of her fingers when attempting to grab a flashbang and throw it back at federal officials during yesterday’s riot. [Video]

https://x.com/Rightanglenews/status/2015818056191168910

"MEDIC! MEDIC!" LOL.

Trump announces he is sending Tom Homan to Minnesota, then shortly after, Walz called and says he wants to work with Trump about deporting the criminal illegal aliens in their possession.

I’m not sure what made Walz do a 180 overnight, but something changed.

My guess is that Walz does not actually want to work with Trump, and this is some sort of ruse by the Dems. They are not just going to roll over and let Trump deport their illegals and expose their fraud. They are up to something.

https://x.com/WarClandestine/status/2015835982436696524

Esso posted on 2026-01-26 14:11:08 Reply Private Reply