Back when I was young, very poor, and bored, me and the guy that lived in the 200sqft efficiency adjacent to my 600sqft 1bdrm that had both been carved out of an 1890's low rent quad, we got pissed at landlord who was on Kokomo School Board and had obviously only bought all those properties because they were run down messes and "civic improvement" was all this fucking angelic prick cared about. Never mind that City of Kokomo ended up paying him over 2 mil for his 100K investment, but I digress.
The sleazy bastard hired a property manager that was caught on film breaking into tenants apartment stealing a TV, his 14 year old son raped his 11 year old sister, and just all kinds of other other ugly shit.
So one day me and neighbor got a hair up our ass and rigged a "slammo" with erector set, inner tubes, and pointy sticks. It worked pretty well, but we didn't get to the point of throwing the bitches into tiger traps, once cops showed up we agreed never to reconstruct such a device and all was forgiven. Landlord was running for re-election and didn't want us fucking up his graft by talking to what existed as "the press". I mailed him a box of cockroaches a few weeks after that, I hope he enjoyed them.
He's pushing 70 isn't he? Does he know how to milk cows?
He's 63, as bent and broken as any man could be and still be alive, can pull a teat with the best of them, was a good mechanic, used to be smart until his brain got mashed up, and knows more about weapons than any man should.
He's 63, as bent and broken as any man could be and still be alive, can pull a teat with the best of them, was a good mechanic, used to be smart until his brain got mashed up, and knows more about weapons than any man should.
Damn, that was nice of you to say. I had to go out to Waynedale today to get some money from Solly to pay for my tree work. He bit me for about $100 under spot, but he wasn't in my business looking for money, was he?
Found Sling Blade, he's still suckin' air.
Bought a bunch of shit at Kroger before that. Hopefully Kimmy will forgive me for blowing her off last weekend. I'm drinkin' up her stuff right this second.
When fucking your prepubescent daughter for three plus years, wasn't enough...
Dude, I have proof Juliette Lewis was 18 by the time I ravaged her sweet little pussy. It's all on a 3D ViewMaster Disk, registered in Pueblo Colorado.
#4: watchman To: Esso (#1)
I'm thinking I need way more than gadgets.
Going to need:
NODS
Thermal imaging
Ghost hoodies in several seasonal colors
A black rifle (or two, yeah, make it two)
Body armor for cows
1000 sandbags
And sharks with frickin' lasers attached to their heads
watchman posted on 2024-05-31 22:07:24 Reply Private Reply
#5: Mark Watney To: watchman, all (#4)
He's a nice guy. His fuse is pretty short after loosing 3 more friends last week.
Mark Watney posted on 2024-05-31 22:26:38 Reply Private Reply
#6: Dakmar To: Esso (#1)
The sleazy bastard hired a property manager that was caught on film breaking into tenants apartment stealing a TV, his 14 year old son raped his 11 year old sister, and just all kinds of other other ugly shit.
So one day me and neighbor got a hair up our ass and rigged a "slammo" with erector set, inner tubes, and pointy sticks. It worked pretty well, but we didn't get to the point of throwing the bitches into tiger traps, once cops showed up we agreed never to reconstruct such a device and all was forgiven. Landlord was running for re-election and didn't want us fucking up his graft by talking to what existed as "the press". I mailed him a box of cockroaches a few weeks after that, I hope he enjoyed them.
Dakmar posted on 2024-05-31 22:40:45 Reply Private Reply
#7: watchman To: Mark Watney (#5)
I was hoping to get some 20 year olds who would work for food.
He's pushing 70 isn't he? Does he know how to milk cows?
watchman posted on 2024-05-31 22:43:06 Reply Private Reply
#8: Esso To: watchman, 4um (#7)
He's 63, as bent and broken as any man could be and still be alive, can pull a teat with the best of them, was a good mechanic, used to be smart until his brain got mashed up, and knows more about weapons than any man should.
When can I start? Stumpy talks too much.
Esso posted on 2024-05-31 22:55:09 Reply Private Reply
#9: Dakmar To: Esso (#8)
And one hell of a good friend!
Dakmar posted on 2024-05-31 22:57:25 Reply Private Reply
#10: Esso To: Dakmar (#9)
Damn, that was nice of you to say. I had to go out to Waynedale today to get some money from Solly to pay for my tree work. He bit me for about $100 under spot, but he wasn't in my business looking for money, was he?
Found Sling Blade, he's still suckin' air.
Bought a bunch of shit at Kroger before that. Hopefully Kimmy will forgive me for blowing her off last weekend. I'm drinkin' up her stuff right this second.
Esso posted on 2024-05-31 23:09:06 Reply Private Reply
#11: Dakmar To: Dr Kimmy (#10)
Being just like Jesus is a bitch!
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 01:33:30 Reply Private Reply
#12: Dakmar To: Esso (#10)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 01:42:40 Reply Private Reply
#13: Esso To: Dakmar (#12)
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 01:48:02 Reply Private Reply
#14: Dakmar To: Esso (#13)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:00:15 Reply Private Reply
#15: Dakmar To: Esso (#13)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:04:35 Reply Private Reply
#16: Dakmar To: Esso (#13)
:)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:10:02 Reply Private Reply
#17: Esso To: Dakmar (#15)
I should know that by now.
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 02:13:36 Reply Private Reply
#18: Dakmar To: Esso (#17)
No shit? :)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:17:38 Reply Private Reply
#19: Esso To: Dakmar (#18)
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 02:20:09 Reply Private Reply
#20: Dakmar To: Esso (#18)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:21:18 Reply Private Reply
#21: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:21:43 Reply Private Reply
#22: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:24:39 Reply Private Reply
#23: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:25:39 Reply Private Reply
#24: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)
Step into the 21st Century, comrade! :)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:29:20 Reply Private Reply
#25: Esso To: Dakmar (#24)
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 02:36:51 Reply Private Reply
#26: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)
That's because you have been cancelled from politically correct society. Wear it as a badge of honor.
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:39:02 Reply Private Reply
#27: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)
pussy! :)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:44:38 Reply Private Reply
#28: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:48:45 Reply Private Reply
#29: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)
Because I asked you to stay?
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:53:09 Reply Private Reply
#30: Dakmar To: Esso (#29)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:56:17 Reply Private Reply
#31: Esso To: Dakmar (#30)
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:04:50 Reply Private Reply
#32: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:04:53 Reply Private Reply
#33: Dakmar To: Esso (#32)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:08:56 Reply Private Reply
#34: Dakmar To: Esso (#31)
Can I borrow your Wall of Sound?
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:13:07 Reply Private Reply
#35: Dakmar To: Esso (#31)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:25:46 Reply Private Reply
#36: Esso To: Dakmar (#34)
Goes full homo...
I needed cars and helos to save me.
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:29:29 Reply Private Reply
#37: Dakmar To: Esso (#36)
Dude, I have proof Juliette Lewis was 18 by the time I ravaged her sweet little pussy. It's all on a 3D ViewMaster Disk, registered in Pueblo Colorado.
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:35:46 Reply Private Reply
#38: Esso To: Dakmar (#37)
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:38:34 Reply Private Reply
#39: Dakmar To: Esso (#36)
I like music, lol
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:41:25 Reply Private Reply
#40: Dakmar To: All (#39)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:43:46 Reply Private Reply
#41: Dakmar To: Esso (#38)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:46:12 Reply Private Reply
#42: Esso To: Dakmar (#40)
Nope, look up my buddy Isle of Man kills himself...
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:46:45 Reply Private Reply
#43: Dakmar To: Esso (#38)
Where can dorks like us buy such cool trousers?
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:50:20 Reply Private Reply
#44: Esso To: Dakmar (#41)
I was, but you returned my angel starter kit.
You didn't specifizes your angel type.
(Edit) I'm sure I'm handsome with my stethoscope diagnosing if my neighbor's dog is dead or not.
It was. $200 to get Animal Control to get the corpse.
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:50:27 Reply Private Reply
#45: Dakmar To: Esso (#44)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:56:25 Reply Private Reply
#46: Dakmar To: Esso (#44)
DOT regulations...sorry
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:57:54 Reply Private Reply
#47: Dakmar To: Esso (#44)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:03:35 Reply Private Reply
#48: Dakmar To: All (#47)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:08:03 Reply Private Reply
#49: Dakmar To: All (#48)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:08:54 Reply Private Reply
#50: Dakmar To: All (#49)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:09:35 Reply Private Reply
#51: Esso To: Dakmar (#43)
If they're not moving and and they're eyes are open, they're probably dead.
Touch their eye, no response, they're dead.
Of course that's after the breathing and screaming thingy.
You can't close a dead person's eyes like on TeeVee, they pop right open.
My last practical application of that was with my mother in 2014 at hospice when I had to identify her body officially.
Marla about fainted with me manipulating Mom's body. You seen one, you seen them all.
Yeah, I tried the closing the eye thing, being my mother and all. The rules from 1983 to 20014 still apply.
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:17:12 Reply Private Reply
#52: Esso To: Dakmar (#50)
Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:19:56 Reply Private Reply
#53: Dakmar To: Esso (#51)
Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:22:44 Reply Private Reply