Freedom4um - Article

#1: Esso To: Horse, 4um (#0)

Byrna LE

Byrna started out in S. Africa, but I suppose the negro problem got too bad for less-than-lethal. Byrna is now based in Fort Wayne, IN. I am involved with them as a non-paid, confidential consultant.

Byrna pistols aim and shoot not unlike a Glock pistol, but more like a double action revolver. I have an orange EP (no safety, a modification of the SD unit, unfortunately no longer available, but a new version is in the works, I'm told) as my EDC (every day carry).

The SD series, with the safety, which I have a grey one mounted to the roof of my work truck in a grey-painted kydex holster (no longer available, I bitched about that), I bought my sister Phinehas a pink one, My Godson, Sling Blade, an orange one and Rainman a black one. The stupid safety lever is more of a hazard than a feature. Ever seen a revolver with a safety? You're not going to have an AD (accidental discharge) with a Byrna, but you might squeeze that trigger and nothing happens (a bad outcome).

The LE series, which I suppose means law enforcement, is pretty much the same as the SD, has an add-on extension so it can take a 12gm CO2 cartridge rather than an 8gm unit and supposedly revised valving giving a little more power, which the SD series seems to be OK. I have a yellow one of them in the headboard of my bed, but I might repurpose it to my garage with kinetic rounds to repel groundhogs, racoons, etc.

The pistols have a pretty stiff trigger pull (my 68 y/o sister has some trouble), but even with my arthritis, it's not a big deal.

Byrna also has rifles and other items including some badass pepper spray. Byrna.com or Byrna on YouTube.

PM me if you want advice or have questions. I love Byrna so much, they moved in with me, much to Dr. Kimmy's chagrin. What the fuck do MDs know about guns or cars?

Esso posted on 2024-05-31 20:39:16 Reply Private Reply

#2: Esso To: All (#1)

I might repurpose it to my garage with kinetic rounds to repel groundhogs, racoons, etc.

Yeah, that's gonna definitely happen. The stupid little cunt that lives with "Satan" behind me across the alley, puts out food for feral cats, can't see that all she's drawing is groundhogs and racoons, probably possums too.

Odin, take me home to Valhalla. What did I ever do to you, Father?

Esso posted on 2024-05-31 20:53:55 Reply Private Reply

#3: Esso To: Mark Watney, 4um (#2)

The stupid little cunt that lives with "Satan" [in "PERGATORY"] behind me across the alley, puts out food for feral cats, can't see that all she's drawing is groundhogs and racoons, probably possums too.

I'm so tired of the stupid shit, man. I can't believe I have to endure this punishment.

"You don't know how to ease my pain..."

Esso posted on 2024-05-31 21:15:21 Reply Private Reply

#4: watchman To: Esso (#1)

Gadgets

I'm thinking I need way more than gadgets.

Going to need:

NODS

Thermal imaging

Ghost hoodies in several seasonal colors

A black rifle (or two, yeah, make it two)

Body armor for cows

1000 sandbags

And sharks with frickin' lasers attached to their heads

watchman posted on 2024-05-31 22:07:24 Reply Private Reply

#5: Mark Watney To: watchman, all (#4)

Oh good lord don't get Pacman going. He caries more hardware than an Abrams tank just to get his mail.

He's a nice guy. His fuse is pretty short after loosing 3 more friends last week.

Mark Watney posted on 2024-05-31 22:26:38 Reply Private Reply

#6: Dakmar To: Esso (#1)

Back when I was young, very poor, and bored, me and the guy that lived in the 200sqft efficiency adjacent to my 600sqft 1bdrm that had both been carved out of an 1890's low rent quad, we got pissed at landlord who was on Kokomo School Board and had obviously only bought all those properties because they were run down messes and "civic improvement" was all this fucking angelic prick cared about. Never mind that City of Kokomo ended up paying him over 2 mil for his 100K investment, but I digress.

The sleazy bastard hired a property manager that was caught on film breaking into tenants apartment stealing a TV, his 14 year old son raped his 11 year old sister, and just all kinds of other other ugly shit.

So one day me and neighbor got a hair up our ass and rigged a "slammo" with erector set, inner tubes, and pointy sticks. It worked pretty well, but we didn't get to the point of throwing the bitches into tiger traps, once cops showed up we agreed never to reconstruct such a device and all was forgiven. Landlord was running for re-election and didn't want us fucking up his graft by talking to what existed as "the press". I mailed him a box of cockroaches a few weeks after that, I hope he enjoyed them.

Dakmar posted on 2024-05-31 22:40:45 Reply Private Reply

#7: watchman To: Mark Watney (#5)

Well, my farm is going to need some operators when shtf.

I was hoping to get some 20 year olds who would work for food.

He's pushing 70 isn't he? Does he know how to milk cows?

watchman posted on 2024-05-31 22:43:06 Reply Private Reply

#8: Esso To: watchman, 4um (#7)

He's pushing 70 isn't he? Does he know how to milk cows?

He's 63, as bent and broken as any man could be and still be alive, can pull a teat with the best of them, was a good mechanic, used to be smart until his brain got mashed up, and knows more about weapons than any man should.

When can I start? Stumpy talks too much.

Esso posted on 2024-05-31 22:55:09 Reply Private Reply

#9: Dakmar To: Esso (#8)

He's 63, as bent and broken as any man could be and still be alive, can pull a teat with the best of them, was a good mechanic, used to be smart until his brain got mashed up, and knows more about weapons than any man should.

And one hell of a good friend!

Dakmar posted on 2024-05-31 22:57:25 Reply Private Reply

#10: Esso To: Dakmar (#9)

And one hell of a good friend!

Damn, that was nice of you to say. I had to go out to Waynedale today to get some money from Solly to pay for my tree work. He bit me for about $100 under spot, but he wasn't in my business looking for money, was he?

Found Sling Blade, he's still suckin' air.

Bought a bunch of shit at Kroger before that. Hopefully Kimmy will forgive me for blowing her off last weekend. I'm drinkin' up her stuff right this second.

Esso posted on 2024-05-31 23:09:06 Reply Private Reply

#11: Dakmar To: Dr Kimmy (#10)

Hopefully Kimmy will forgive me for blowing her off last weekend. I'm drinkin' up her stuff right this second.

Being just like Jesus is a bitch!

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 01:33:30 Reply Private Reply

#12: Dakmar To: Esso (#10)

Don't piece me :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 01:42:40 Reply Private Reply

#13: Esso To: Dakmar (#12)

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 01:48:02 Reply Private Reply

#14: Dakmar To: Esso (#13)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:00:15 Reply Private Reply

#15: Dakmar To: Esso (#13)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:04:35 Reply Private Reply

#16: Dakmar To: Esso (#13)

:)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:10:02 Reply Private Reply

#17: Esso To: Dakmar (#15)

I was just trying to help folks, Dak. No good deed goes unpunished.

I should know that by now.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 02:13:36 Reply Private Reply

#18: Dakmar To: Esso (#17)

No good deed goes unpunished.

No shit? :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:17:38 Reply Private Reply

#19: Esso To: Dakmar (#18)

Fuck this. I'm lonely.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 02:20:09 Reply Private Reply

#20: Dakmar To: Esso (#18)

LOL, Pretty Polly is case of bad deed going unpunished, but whatever.. :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:21:18 Reply Private Reply

#21: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:21:43 Reply Private Reply

#22: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)

All my bank robber rental cars are tied up right now, please stay on the line if you want to commit a felony.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:24:39 Reply Private Reply

#23: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:25:39 Reply Private Reply

#24: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)

Fuck this. I'm lonely.

Step into the 21st Century, comrade! :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:29:20 Reply Private Reply

#25: Esso To: Dakmar (#24)

There's nothing left here for me anymore. I just want to go home.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 02:36:51 Reply Private Reply

#26: Dakmar To: Esso (#19)

Fuck this. I'm lonely.

That's because you have been cancelled from politically correct society. Wear it as a badge of honor.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:39:02 Reply Private Reply

#27: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)

There's nothing left here for me anymore. I just want to go home.

pussy! :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:44:38 Reply Private Reply

#28: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)

Honestly, I don't get the crap about zombie sex either, I like living partners.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:48:45 Reply Private Reply

#29: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)

There's nothing left here for me anymore. I just want to go home.

Because I asked you to stay?

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:53:09 Reply Private Reply

#30: Dakmar To: Esso (#29)

God I love those songs about death, lol.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 02:56:17 Reply Private Reply

#31: Esso To: Dakmar (#30)

rest in peace

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:04:50 Reply Private Reply

#32: Dakmar To: Esso (#25)

It's All Over Now, Baby Blue

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:04:53 Reply Private Reply

#33: Dakmar To: Esso (#32)

Fuck, no wonder why Biden feels like he has to destroy me, I've cracked The Code! :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:08:56 Reply Private Reply

#34: Dakmar To: Esso (#31)

Can I borrow your Wall of Sound?

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:13:07 Reply Private Reply

#35: Dakmar To: Esso (#31)

tangled up in blue...

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:25:46 Reply Private Reply

#36: Esso To: Dakmar (#34)

When fucking your prepubescent daughter for three plus years, wasn't enough...

Goes full homo...

I needed cars and helos to save me.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:29:29 Reply Private Reply

#37: Dakmar To: Esso (#36)

When fucking your prepubescent daughter for three plus years, wasn't enough...

Dude, I have proof Juliette Lewis was 18 by the time I ravaged her sweet little pussy. It's all on a 3D ViewMaster Disk, registered in Pueblo Colorado.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:35:46 Reply Private Reply

#38: Esso To: Dakmar (#37)

Do this, bitch...

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:38:34 Reply Private Reply

#39: Dakmar To: Esso (#36)

I needed cars and helos to save me.

I like music, lol

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:41:25 Reply Private Reply

#40: Dakmar To: All (#39)

That looked AI, fuck AI.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:43:46 Reply Private Reply

#41: Dakmar To: Esso (#38)

Will you be my Angel, bitch? :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:46:12 Reply Private Reply

#42: Esso To: Dakmar (#40)

That looked AI, fuck AI.

Nope, look up my buddy Isle of Man kills himself...

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:46:45 Reply Private Reply

#43: Dakmar To: Esso (#38)

Where can dorks like us buy such cool trousers?

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:50:20 Reply Private Reply

#44: Esso To: Dakmar (#41)

Will you be my Angel, bitch?

I was, but you returned my angel starter kit.

You didn't specifizes your angel type.

(Edit) I'm sure I'm handsome with my stethoscope diagnosing if my neighbor's dog is dead or not.

It was. $200 to get Animal Control to get the corpse.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 03:50:27 Reply Private Reply

#45: Dakmar To: Esso (#44)

Be afraid...be very afraid, lol

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:56:25 Reply Private Reply

#46: Dakmar To: Esso (#44)

You didn't specifizes your angel type.

DOT regulations...sorry

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 03:57:54 Reply Private Reply

#47: Dakmar To: Esso (#44)

can I get an aspirin?

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:03:35 Reply Private Reply

#48: Dakmar To: All (#47)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:08:03 Reply Private Reply

#49: Dakmar To: All (#48)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:08:54 Reply Private Reply

#50: Dakmar To: All (#49)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:09:35 Reply Private Reply

#51: Esso To: Dakmar (#43)

The medics in Beirut gave me some quicky lessons in identifying dead guys...

If they're not moving and and they're eyes are open, they're probably dead.

Touch their eye, no response, they're dead.

Of course that's after the breathing and screaming thingy.

You can't close a dead person's eyes like on TeeVee, they pop right open.

My last practical application of that was with my mother in 2014 at hospice when I had to identify her body officially.

Marla about fainted with me manipulating Mom's body. You seen one, you seen them all.

Yeah, I tried the closing the eye thing, being my mother and all. The rules from 1983 to 20014 still apply.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:17:12 Reply Private Reply

#52: Esso To: Dakmar (#50)

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:19:56 Reply Private Reply

#53: Dakmar To: Esso (#51)

Yep, dead/alive, I get it. You're welcome. :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:22:44 Reply Private Reply

#54: Dakmar To: Esso (#52)

Dude, you should not be leeking Company Secrets! WTF is wrong with you, soldier boy?

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:25:11 Reply Private Reply

#55: Dakmar To: Esso (#52)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:28:48 Reply Private Reply

#56: Esso To: Dakmar (#53)

I lost count in Beirut quickly, there was so many. I wasn't even supposed to be involved. I ended up taking some dead jarhead's flak vest and steel pot.

Mass-casualties events are a bad deal.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:29:48 Reply Private Reply

#57: Esso To: Dakmar (#54)

WTF is wrong with you, soldier boy?

I was never a soldier. I was a low-grade shitbag spy. My MD girly friend is a government mandated killer. I was sanctioned overseas, she was mandated to kill everybody in the US.

I make potato salad for her sometimes.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:32:50 Reply Private Reply

#58: Dakmar To: Esso (#52)

You'll represent me in court, right? :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:35:15 Reply Private Reply

#59: Dakmar To: Esso (#57)

I was never a soldier. I was a low-grade shitbag spy.

Aren't we all?

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:36:09 Reply Private Reply

#60: Esso To: Dakmar (#58)

You'll represent me in court, right?

Lying isn't a new tradecraft for me. I'll do what you need.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:42:28 Reply Private Reply

#61: Dakmar To: Esso (#60)

And then the kerosene
Is brought down from the castles
By insurance men who go
Check to see
That nobody is escaping
To Desolation Row

I'm in my own paranoid little world right now :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:48:51 Reply Private Reply

#62: Esso To: Dakmar (#61)

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:53:31 Reply Private Reply

#63: Esso To: All (#62)

I'm in my own paranoid little world right now

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 04:58:06 Reply Private Reply

#64: Dakmar To: Esso (#62)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 04:59:08 Reply Private Reply

#65: Dakmar To: Esso, Dr Kimmy (#63)

Why does John Lennon keep kicking my dog? Very rude!

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:02:52 Reply Private Reply

#66: Esso To: Dakmar (#64)

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 05:03:08 Reply Private Reply

#67: Dakmar To: Esso (#66)

If it were up to me I would slit the throat of every moron that even thought about making their stupid-ass ZoomZoom piece of shit motorbike or 4cyl Honda/Kia/Hyundia shitbox louder. Slit their stupid ugly retard fucking throats, damn it!

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:10:00 Reply Private Reply

#68: Dakmar To: Esso (#31)

rest in peace

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:18:08 Reply Private Reply

#69: Esso To: Dakmar (#67)

f it were up to me I would slit the throat of every moron that even thought about making their stupid-ass ZoomZoom piece of shit motorbike or 4cyl Honda/Kia/Hyundia shitbox louder. Slit their stupid ugly spic fucking throats, damn it!

You do know that I'm paying them to do that so I don't get lonely during my PTSD meltdowns, right?

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 05:26:39 Reply Private Reply

#70: Dakmar To: Esso (#69)

Of course I do, how could western civilization possibly survive without the contributions of multicultural diversity? No rap? No car jackings? {shudder}

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:34:13 Reply Private Reply

#71: Esso To: Dakmar (#70)

Love you man. I can't sleep either. I guess I was too busy saving the World.

Us superheroes need to wind down too.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 05:38:41 Reply Private Reply

#72: Dakmar To: Esso (#69)

I ain't no nice guy after all

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:39:02 Reply Private Reply

#73: Dakmar To: Esso (#71)

My long hair just can't cover up my red neck!

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:41:27 Reply Private Reply

#74: Esso To: Dakmar (#72)

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 05:43:23 Reply Private Reply

#75: Dakmar To: Esso (#74)

Screw you, hippie! :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:47:00 Reply Private Reply

#76: Esso To: Dakmar (#73)

Running guns and drugs was manly under Reagan, this shit with little brown boys is just GAY!

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 05:47:33 Reply Private Reply

#77: Esso To: All (#76)

A lot people didn't make it back home from Prez Pedo's vax mandates.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 05:49:49 Reply Private Reply

#78: Dakmar To: Esso (#74)

Kris was not just an Army brat, but was really intelligent, and well educated, and came from a spook (Deep State) family, but gave up on it because he wanted to be a songwriter/performer. That's pretty cool in my book, not sure how spook he got, but pretty high I think.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 05:54:31 Reply Private Reply

#79: Esso To: Dakmar (#78)

WTH? You OK?

I told SB I was gonna crawl into a bottle again when I left today.

Mission accomplished.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 05:58:36 Reply Private Reply

#80: Dakmar To: Esso (#79)

Am I the only one that hears trace of Allman Brothers in this?

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 06:02:24 Reply Private Reply

#81: Esso To: Dakmar (#80)

Jesus Christ, the sun's coming up. I need to tap out. Kimmy's supposed to be my lover, not my mommy.

Esso posted on 2024-06-01 06:06:38 Reply Private Reply

#82: Dakmar To: Esso (#79)

If you were in a band, wouldn't you want it to be this band? :)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 06:09:20 Reply Private Reply

#83: Dakmar To: Esso (#81)

Yeah, I should prolly turn in myself.

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 06:13:53 Reply Private Reply

#84: Dakmar To: Esso (#81)

Dakmar posted on 2024-06-01 06:30:24 Reply Private Reply

#85: watchman To: Esso (#8)

When can I start?

As soon as the lights go out.

Bunk in the barn.

One meal a day (boiled potato/boiled beef/hard-boiled egg)

No drinkin', no cussin', no spittin', and no fornicatin'.

And no whining about the past.

Your girlfriends will have to pull their own weight.

Accept the fact you'll get shot by a kid with a deer rifle.

We'll see how you work out...I have my doubts but willing to give you a chance. ;-)

And see if you can bring a box of .22lr and some 20 gauge slugs...prolly be getting low on ammo by the time you arrive.

watchman posted on 2024-06-01 08:28:16 Reply Private Reply

#86: BTP Holdings To: Esso (#3)

When we ran the big truck to Florida about 20 years ago, we had some time to kill so we went out on the gambling boat. You could not gamble until you were three miles offshore.

I was so seasick I hardly spent any money. My codriver didn't get seasick until we got back to shore. We slept head to toe in the bunk that night.

That is old memory. ;)

BTP Holdings posted on 2024-06-02 14:25:57 Reply Private Reply

#87: BTP Holdings To: Dakmar (#75)

When we worked the Highwaymen in Chicago back in the 80s, I was personal Security for Johnny Cash during the Meet & Greet after the show.

When that was over, I was told to follow kris Kristofferson out of the building to make sure nobody messed with him. He went up the stairs and I went up after him. When he got to the top landing, hr turned and looked at me. I told him what they told me, so he turned and kept going.

This vid must be pretty old. Kris does not have a lot of lines in his face. LOL

BTP Holdings posted on 2024-06-02 14:35:50 Reply Private Reply

#88: BTP Holdings To: Dakmar (#82)

I knew this guy that would deliver a quarter ounce of blow to The Rolling Stones dressing room before every show.

You might think that was just a warmup for Jagger. But the band needed a good kick to get going for the concert. LOL

BTP Holdings posted on 2024-06-02 14:40:02 Reply Private Reply

#89: BTP Holdings To: Horse (#0)

I'll bet the Bondsman I used to work with over in Lebanon uses tasers on the skips now. He is too olde to wrestle with those younger perps.

I wouldn't be surprised if he has a couple younger guys along too to participate in the festivities. ;)

BTP Holdings posted on 2024-06-02 14:46:04 Reply Private Reply

#90: watchman To: BTP Holdings (#88)

Can't decide what sounds worse:

Mick Jagger...

Or an angry cat...

watchman posted on 2024-06-02 15:25:12 Reply Private Reply

Source:	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQizZ_p_TJE
Published:	May 31, 2024
Author:	Horse
Post Date:	2024-05-31 18:56:37 by Horse
Views:	6871

15 Home Defense Gadgets That Leave No Chance for Criminals